you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
