pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
