It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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