I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
