if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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