Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
