I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
