She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
