I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize