he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
