NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dignity is for republicans.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
