We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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