Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
