wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
