WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
