I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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