I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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