I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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