I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
