Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
