So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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