thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
