Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
