Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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