To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
