you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I had to cum in my sink.
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