I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
