Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
