drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i drank out of a bidet.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
