I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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