I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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