I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
