This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
