Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
