So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
