Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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