No awkward lesbian experiences without me
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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