You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
