During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
