i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Randomize
