we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
