mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I've blown a few things in my day
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize