Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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