people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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