I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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