if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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