Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
