HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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