Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
