You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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