she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
