My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Welp...herpes.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
