Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
