Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
