I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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