drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
